The Folgers Investment Theory:

I have a friend that does not put a large majority of his money into banks. The reason is not because he fears they will fail, its because he doesn't want the paper trail---get it? His side business is cash only and even though I would consider this enterprise completely non-dangerous, I empathize his desire not to let Uncle Sam get a piece of it. Through this low key but moderatly lucrative venture the past ten years or so, his investment strategy with all of his cash has been as follows (Year To Date Figures--Calendar Year 2008):

Buy a can of Folgers coffee, consume that coffee, place hard earned tax free cash into empty can and bury strategically throughout rented property.

Costs: One can of Folgers per month @ $12.89 per = $141.79
One Spade Point Shovel @ $34.00
Total Costs Year To Date = $ 175.79

Savings: Not needing coffee at Starbucks
(2 Venti per day X 5days per week @ $2.15 per)
Coffee Consumption savings year To Date = $946

Percent Difference (Folgers Costs and Savings) = 438%

So by not investing into the DOW Industrial (-37% YTD) he has created, a conservatively estimated by the way, positive 475% Rate of return Year To Date.

This of course is a minimum rate of return this year because it does not include added brokerage fees, vigs, hidden fees, front loads, back loads, and the mere fact that more folks than not lost a higher percentage than that of the DOW year to date (Such as my veteranarian friend who has lost 48% of his portfolio YTD, the one which he has steadily been building since 1988.) And by renting the property he lives in -he has not lost %30 percent of his home value this year either.

Guess which friend is ready to put $100k down on a house right now? Guess which friend is college educated? The smart one is the welder---realistically ahead over 500% YTD. And I think he's ready to write a book called : Folgers is cheaper than a brand new mattress-- how to be a super cheapskate tax evader and come out on top!