How Important Are Cousins?

Luckily, I had lots of cousins I got to know when I was growing up. Looking back now I realize what a positive evnergy that is. Mom and dad had many siblings each, all within reasonable proximity in age, and boy oh boy did they breed.

My sister and I were the only ones of either clan that lived in Santa Barbara, all the cousins were in Sacramento (my dads side) and Modesto / Santa Cruz (my moms side). We had several get togethers a year, both sides--a couple of times combined even.

I believe the strength of our relationships (primarily male and female) are based off of these rudimentery experiences within our own families. Like chords in a wire rope, we are connected but not technically bonded to eachother.

Then there is the ease in seeing our parents together. In my family, the laughter from the grown ups could have had something to do with their "homemade cigarettes" with twisted ends and weird odors.

Whatever it was we had pure, simple, old fashioned fun. Jumping into the river together, going to the summer fairs together, playing in the neighborhoods, eating great homemade foods, playing every game imaginable--(hide and go seek I think was my all time favorite.)

I believe one of the saddest things to grow up without, is cousins. We bond to them so easily---talk about each others parents, clearly we practice relationships with them, we trust them, want to conquer the world with them. Even though I am grown up and disconnected presently -- we will always be comfortable together no matter how long the separation.

I wish my children had what I had. Not one of my two brothers, or my sister have or will ever have any children. Monica's brothers are still years away from becoming fathers. seems like my three children will be old and gray damn near before they get any cousins. For us what helps substitute this is the third cousin thing ---not nearly as fun, but its working thanks only to Monica's large pool of cousins. Problem is -- her side does not party the way my family did when I was growing up. They are what I consider---"dry toast." The contrast in style urks me because it is oh so fucking boring when they have their family reunions and I'm dragged along. Yes some beer and wine -- but no spirit, no laughing from the bottom of the stomach---all theirs is from the neck ( weak!) But the kids ---they have a lot of fun.......so that is really what its all about.

A nice story backing up this claim can be found here from an Oprah Magazine article. it's a cache link --FYI.